Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: neurolinguistic programming, nlp, nlp conference 2009, personal development, personal growth
There have been nlp conferences out of which I got a lot more value. However never in such a good venue. The Britannia International as a venue is excellent; all the sessions are within easy reach and grouped around a central gathering area. The display area is good but it lacked vibrancy so please if you have somethingnlp related to promote hire an exhibition space next year! the surrounding area is well served by reasonably priced places to eat and the hotel’s own pizzeria is good too. The Britannia is easy to get to by public transport (a heck of a long way from Heathrow!). So a big thumbs up for the venue.
I am not clear that the organisers are clear on their objectives or target audience. As always there was appropriately enough to interest people new tonlp but I don’t feel there was enough to stimulate those longer in the field. It used to be that the conference was a showcase for new product and developing ideas this year there seemed to be less that’s new – perhaps there is less being developed – and that was a disappointment. Having said that Two sessions in particular stood out for me; Systemic Strategy for Life & Business with Pam Gawler Wright & Joseph Pritchard which introduced me to the extremely useful “Continuous Becoming Frame” which I will use, and Energetic NLP with Art Giser. I think the Energy work of Art Giser and Olive Hickmott is very much a reflection of where NLP is increasingly headed. Later in the conference I attended Arielle Essex’s presentation on NLP & the Living Matrix of the Body, although the presentation did not fire me up it interested me enough to investigate further and I look forward to watching the DVD “The Living Matrix” which we bought from the exhibition (the things you miss when you are not there!). I also got a useful refresher on speed reading (Top Ten Speed Reading Techniques) from Jan Cisek & Nanette L’Estrange but didn’t learn anything new. I was disappointed to have to leave Peter Wrycza’s session on The Art of Repatterning half way through but I just was not processing the information (this probably owes more to my autism than to Peter’s presentation) sometimes I need to read the material at my own pace.
The Pre-conference on Friday was Creating the Life You Want with Tim and Kris Hallborn. I found their Universal Cycles of Change model a little forced largely because I’m a gardener and their analogies from nature were inaccurate. The model itself is of considerable value but the premise that it reflects the cycles of nature is erroneous. The key part of their presentation and their keynote in the evening was the “Dynamic Spin Release”TM which is just a process from DHE with some further guided imagery added to it. I can say I tried DSR on my wife and it does work.
One of the best things about conference is the opportunity to speak to people in the nlp community; Michael Hall was as always generous with his wisdom and his time, Peter Wryca was personally very helpful and I had many other useful interchanges (actually it was usually my wife’s conversation with me as observer)
This nlp conference was the first organised by the new team who have taken over from the magnificent Jo Hogg. Some things need work still, particularly getting the right balance of presenters other things they got very very right like the venue. I did not get as much out of the conference as in most previous years but I am grateful for the value I got. Now I have had time to consider the conference I expect I shall be back next year to see how the organisers progress.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: AS, asd, asperger's, asperger's syndrome, autism, neurolinguistic programming, nlp, personal development, personal growth
I first studied NLP to help me make sense of the world, at that time I had no diagnosis of Asperger’s and simply thought I was just different from normal people. Since receiving my diagnosis I have been beginning to give some thought to whether NLP can be used effectively in the treatment of Autism. Please be aware that these are initial observations and do no as yet represent any research or experimentation.
There are many people out there who claim to have found the cure to Autism whether diet, CBT or infoceuticals ( aside: it would be able to type without continually stopping to correct words) I think the truth is that there is no one cure for Autism because everyone’s Autism is to a greater or lesser extent unique thus that which works for one person does not necessarily work for another. I believe that while it may be appropriate for some people to seek a cure it is more useful to think in terms of effective intervention ‒ NLP thinking.
Assuming each of us physically, mentally, behaviourally is a system the first question I would ask is, where in the system would an intervention have the most overall impact? At this point I would venture that it is in strategy elicitation and change that NLP could be most effective and I suspect that my attention will be turned first the design of routines. What strategy do I use to select the components of a routine? Can I change the strategy to make my routines more efficient? Secondly I expect I shall look at my stimming strategy, if I could intervene in that strategy it might lead to an alternative ‒ more socially acceptable ‒ behaviour. Is it possible ‒ I wonder ‒ to make changes to the way I process sensory information?
As I say these are my first, as yet undeveloped thought s on NLP and Autism. First a bit of research and then I’ll start to experiment on myself. I hope these thoughts may stimulate others in the NLP community to look at the possibility of the use of NLP in the treatment and management of ASDs
Filed under: asperger's syndrome | Tags: AS, asperger's, asperger's syndrome, autism
Sorry if this is a bit of a rant I’m having a bad night! After 14 years in one building they have moved us to a new one. Sadly not a clean move so on our last couple of nights in the old place I had to move desks because desks disappeared. Now I am in the new place it is different I don’t like it! I thought not having to share space with a television would be an improvement, unfortunately I am now in proximity with a lot of other people and they talk and laugh and generally make it very difficult to focus on my work. The new air conditioning is quieter and there is less noise from the street. However the air conditioning does make a noise, there is still noise from the street, the lift talks, something is making a humming noise, the locks on all the doors bleep and there is no room in the building that can be called quiet. The lights are flourescent and we can’t turn them off, they make a noise as well!
I am using an unfamiliar keyboard which is very frustrating and I am getting very close to being unpleasant to someone– anyone! I do not understand why it seems to be impossible for employers to provide a quiet work place with soft lighting in which one can concentrate. We have not yet been allocated lockers so I have no idea where I will keep things. The place is still unfinished and is very much in a state of upheaval with boxes and cables everywhere. Nothing about this place feels settled and so I am suspended between panic and tears. Strangely writing helps quite a bit – it seems to distance me from the room I am in as if I am an observer rather than a participant. This is really strange but as long as I am writing I am reasonably calm although I realise my legs are ridiculously animated. Sadly I will have to stop writing now still only an hour to go and then several days break in which to recover before I have to go through this all again. I will be so glad when things have settled down enough to allow me to settle too.
Filed under: asperger's syndrome | Tags: AS, asperger's, asperger's syndrome, autism, personal development, relaxation
On the subject of my hands having a mind of their own earlier today they managed to spell “wrong” as “ready” I haven’t worked out the logic of that. Of course this may just be the me that does strange things like put things away in the wrong places. Actually this is not what I intended to write about.
People I know keep complaining that I ignore them or “blank” them when I meet them. The fact is that a lot of the time I simply do not recognise people I know if I meet them in a context wherein I am not expecting to. I don’t know if this has anything to with Asperger’s but it is somewhat embarrassing. Of course I am not helped by an appalling memory for names or rather a failure to link the correct name to a face so that even when I do recognise a face I am not sure from where or to whom it belongs or worse I assume they are someone they are not and address them accordingly.
Having been told I have asperger’s discovering more about it has become somewhat of an obsession which is a good thing because I realise how well I function compared with many. What I also realise is that I have not always functioned as well as now and so I can unequivocably declare that improvement is possible. By extension now that I am aware of the condition I can make further deliberate improvements. I have spent many years doing courses to improve my ability to function: est, NLP and many other courses and seminars and reading stacks of books on any topic that interested me and it has produced results, perhaps had it been focussed with an awareness of asperger’s the results might have been greater.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: AS, asperger's, asperger's syndrome, autism
I thought perhaps I’d reflect on some physical things.A lot of people associate Autism Spectrum Conditions with unusual physical behaviours like tics and hand flapping. I am relieved that my behaviours are fairly normal but I do have a couple of tics, the worse is a sudden side to side movement of my head which has on occasion caused me to pull muscles in my neck and shoulder when trying to resist it. The lesser is merely a shudder unfortunately usually accompanied by a vocal noise which attracts unwelcome attention. My tics become more frequent when I am under stress.
I am relieved to say that I don’t flap my hands much although I do tend to flap just the centre, ring and little finger when agitated. I also have a point on the right side of my jaw that I tap. I need to be under a lot of stress and multiple inputs before I start hitting my head. I twist my fingers every few minutes. I also tend to drum and I bounce my legs and my feet. A lot of my movements are determined by my posture at the time but I am moving most of the time.
I have a great sense of direction but a lousy sense of scale. My wife can look at leftovers in a saucepan and know the exact size of tub into which to decant them, I will either pick a tub which is far too big or end up using two. She can drive us down a narrow country road while I have to close my eyes because I cannot judge how close we are to the wall. I am always stubbing my toes, I catch myself on door handles, I walk into door posts and furniture basically I do not judge space and volume very well. I do not judge distance well particularly at dusk which can make crossing the road somewhat unnerving.
My sense of balance leaves a considerable amount to be desired and disappears completely when I close my eyes which as I frequently close my eyes while walking can cause problems.
I have never been a very good sleeper and my sleep patterns have never been consistent. I often have trouble falling asleep, I frequently wake in the night and on many occasions cannot get back to sleep. On other occasions I fall asleep anywhere inappropriate, on the bus, in the cinema, the pub, at work. The only good thing about insomnia is the opportunity it gives to get onto the internet when no one else wants to use the PC.
I do not experience a disconnection from my body except for my hands and feet and then only when I am looking at them. I find it quite fascinating to watch my feet when they are walking, it feels as if I am floating above them while they move on their own. My hands are at their most disconnected when I watch them holding something, I watch films on my iPod and the hand holding the iPod becomes objectified as part of the iPod rather than my arm. When it comes to typing they have a mind of their own and sometimes on reviewing things I have written I find completely incomprehensible sentences amongst the good ones. So if anything in this reads strangely or is spelt wrongly that’s my excuse
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: AS, asd, asperger's, asperger's syndrome, autism, emotions, personal development, personal growth
Please Note: I call this “My Aspergers” because it is specifically about me and not aspergers in general. Some of my behaviours I am sure are unique and possibly too weird to be explained away by my diagnosis.
My wife said to me about my memory not too long ago, “Anyone would think you have Alzheimers except you’ve always been like that!” I actually have a very good memory (I originally put “remedy” but that’s another problem) but my recall is terrible. Ask me the right question and I can produce answers I didn’t even know I knew but expect me to recall why I’ve just gone to get a pencil and that’s another story. Fortunately in some cases I can logically reconstruct the story eg. pencil means I want to write, what was I doing before I picked up the pencil? I was on the phone…oh I appear to still be connected…”hello, I’ve got a pencil now what were you saying?” (sneaky question gets them to refresh my memory of the call).
One of my memory problems comes from my tendency to drift while people are talking. If I’m not interested in what they are saying I just phase out, my wife asks me tricky questions like, “what did I just say?” or “where have you gone?” The obvious answer to the second one is, “nowhere” which may well produce a response like “well you should be here”. Another memory problem arises when I am faced with vast amounts of printed (or on screen) material to read – memos, training material –as I just won’t process it but I will often when I need the information recall where to find it. Time is a big factor in memory I need time to process information. If I have too little time I tend to retain nothing of what I am reading not even a part. Repetition helps a lot I retain that which I use over and over. I am very easily distracted and when distracted cease processing other inputs. All of the above mean that while I have an above average but not exceptional IQ I am not a good learner unless I am really interested. When I was studying and something incidental caught my interest I would employ my time on the tangent and not on the primary subject – not useful academically!
I was going to say something about processing but I think I did that yesterday. Basically one thing at a time is good, multiple sensory inputs not good.
Repetition as I have said is useful. I have particular sequences in which I do things, particular routes I follow to places, particular places I put things. All of this makes life much easier, unfortunately when anything disrupts my order I can have processing problems. I am about to move workplace which means that all of my routines for getting to work and setting up my desk will have to be rebuilt I even have specific routes for going to my locker and other places at work according to specific context so I am at the moment extremely unsettled. New route to work, new building, new locker, new desk nothing is going to be the same. In some ways I am pleased that all my routines will stop at once and all my new ones will have to be built at the same time as it is in some ways less unsettling than small disruptions. A small disruption like not getting my coffee at the start of my shift can seriously destabilise me for hours until I reach a point where I can reset my routine usually at a break. I find very unsettling the introduction of new working practices, worse still my company tends to do it too soon so one change becomes many as they make adjustments. I hardly have time to assimilate one change into my routine before another comes along! This causes me to be very tense at work and often on the edge of an explosion.
I find a good way of coping with different situations is to model the behaviours of different people. When I was a trainer I modelled Werner Erhard in the stressful environment of work I adopt the persona of an old hippy (which I suppose I am) and sit on the mounting tension until it reaches a point where it can no longer be contained. I was advised to be myself and accept myself as I am so I accept that I cope by pretending to be someone else. OK now this is getting too weird and I need time to think before I alienate anyone who might read this so it’s time to stop for now.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: AS, asc, asd, asperger's, asperger's syndrome, autism
I was asked, “Now you’ve got your diagnosis what are you going to do with it?”
I hadn’t realised that I had to do something with it but I suppopse my first step is one of reflection. After my wife took me along to a meeting with her colleague─John─I remarked that until he had mentioned it no one had ever thought I might have Aspergers. She gave me one of her looks and replied, “No you had never thought you might have Aspergers.” As the work of Hans Asperger was only brought to the attention of English speaker via Lorna Wing in 1981 and was only recognised for diagnostic purposes in 1994 it is hardly surprising that it had not intruded on my consciousness. If my wife had not been doing some work with one of the Autism organisations perhaps I would still now just be odd instead of being someone with Aspergers Syndrome.
What brought about the pursuit of a diagnosis was my inability to use peoples forenames as if I were familiar with them. When my manager told me I should treat people on the phone as I like to be treated I replied that I was ─ I hate strangers using my first name ─ she was not pleased and told me to use the forename anyway! I suppose if I had their surname I could use that a little more easily. I have never been easy in social situations largely because I cannot understand what is happening, I realise that social interactions are taking place but I’m unable to grasp the rules that govern them. It is strange that despite having studied NLP and read books on body language I still feel confused by human interaction and still manage to say and do things that cause offence because other people allow their own self centred feelings to replace logic. On a newsgroup once someone was expressing their feelings about a bereavement (I really do not enjoy the expression of emotion) to which I responded truthfuly, “People die” ─I didn’t know what else to say─ I was stunned and upset by the abuse I took for that. My daughter was at her in laws’ house for her brother in law’s funeral when we discovered a very close family friend had died so I sent her a text saying quite simply, “Your uncle Ross is dead” apparently that was not an appropriate way to break the news. It also seems that it is inappropriate to post the news of the birth of my new granddaughter on Twitter and Facebook before informing our family. I seem to have spent a considerable part of my life saying things and seeing peoples’ jaws drop in shock leaving me wondering what exactly I have said or why it has shocked people.
It appears that my definition of a friend is not as others. During my interview having stated that I have friends Ms. Gallagher asked me if I had ever been to the houses of the people I described as friends or if I knew where they lived, it had not occurred to me that there was any reason to visit them, I never like people visiting me in fact I resent the disruption it causes. I usually go to company nights out so I cannot be called antisocial however I leave after the meal and hopefully before the music starts.
I do have a problem with loud music as I cannot carry on a conversation against conflicting sensory input, I listen to one person at a time. I find some noises irritating, I dislike the sound of air conditioning and most machines, I hate sirens, but I only really have problems with sustained simultaneous exposure to several auditory inputs which will eventually lead me to either escape, shut down or explode. Unfortunately I cannot always control my response and again find myself upsetting people who don’t appreciate the reasonableness of my actions.
My wife thought she had coined a new word for me─literality─ but it is a real word
lit⋅er⋅al⋅i⋅ty
/ˌlɪtəˈrælɪti/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [lit-uh-ral-i-tee] Show IPA–noun, plural -ties.
1. the quality or state of being literal; literalness.
2. a literal interpretation.
I do tend to interpret language literally. Fortunately I went to an excellent school ─ Giggleswick ─ where we learned about metaphor I was also a user of the Penguin Dictionary of Slang and Brewer’s Phrase and Fable so given sufficient time I can work out idiomatic language. Unfortunately if a sentence appears to make sense as it stands it is unlikely to occur to me to look for alternative meanings. Literality can be a real problem when someone is being sarcastic as I will frequently take what they say at face value only to find later that I have caused further upset by so doing. If I am subjected to several simultaneous inputs it can take a while for me to completely grasp what someone has said and when more than one person is speaking at the same time I have on occasion responded to a composite interpretation which does not meet the wishes of any of the speakers.
Filed under: asperger's syndrome | Tags: Asperger diagnosis, asperger's, asperger's syndrome, autism, Autism Research Centre
The process of being diagnosed with aspergers has proven to be less onerous than I had feared but overall lengthier than I had expected.
It all began in April when my wife persuaded me to tell a colleague of hers about my difficulty in using the names of people to whom I have not been properly introduced. His response was, “quite a few people with aspergers have the same problem”. He sent me to see someone at the Autism Resource Centre in Maryhill, Glasgow who thought it would be a good idea for me to ask my Doctor for a formal referral to the Centre.
Several months later (this was the lengthy bit the actual process was thankfully quite fast) I received my appointment for screening from the Autism Resource Centre. I do not particularly like answering questions about myself but the screening interview was sensitively handled by Anne Marie Gallagher and after a couple of hours during which my wife answered many of the questions for me, I was told I ticked enough boxes to justify attending a formal diagnosis. I was then given appointments for further interviews.
I had two more interviews with Ms. Gallagher at both I was accompanied by my wife which is useful as I have a tendency not to mention things which may be relevant. The whole diagnostic process was expedited by Ms. Gallagher’s experience which has enabled her to pare down the diagnostic process to its essentials even so it remains in total several hours long. I must have somehow shown how little I enjoyed the interview process as Ms. Gallagher very kindly drew up her report at the second interview instead of calling me in again.
Now I have a diagnosis of aspergers which explains many things. I must express my gratitude to all those who helped me to this point.
I should also point out how valuable it is to have a dedicated Autism Research Centre in Glasgow which provides not only diagnosis and support but also a safe place where people on the spectrum and their carers can go for support in an environment sympathetic to their particular problems.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Alun Richards, Birmingham Women's Hospital, business, Chad Conger, Chris Hughes, coaching, Dan Bradbury, Daniel Wagner, internet marketing, James Lavers, Jamie Smart, Laura Spicer, Lee Sandford, Mike Southon, nlp, NLP & Coaching Business Conference 2009, Seminars, Tom Breeze, Topher Morrison
Dan Bradbury can be relied upon to provide a worthwhile and entertaining event and in that this years conference is no different. What is different is that instead of being an opportunity for the speakers to make sales this conference raised money for the neo-natal unit at Birmingham Women’s Hospital (£25,000 and counting).
After Dan’s introduction the first speaker was Mike Southon (The Beermat Entrepreneur) with a presentation “Something About the Beatles” which used the career of the Beatles to illustrate the principles of succesful entrepreneurship.
In a very entertaining piece we were introduced to rather a lot of valuable information including: critical moments, cycles, the 7 stages of finance and the 5 Ps after finishing with the sage advice to, “Be local, be reliable and be nice” and the admonition that, “Wealth is what’s left when the money’s gone”. Mike finished with a stirring performance on the inflateable guitar, the only way to understand what I’m talking about is to buy the DVDs. (www.danbradbury.com)
Mike Southon is not an easy act to follow but Chris Hughes stepped up to the mark with a most amusing presentation on Personal Effectiveness and sales. The key to much of his success is the discipline that allows luck to happen. Chris acknowledges that if he didn’t set himself deadlines and work to them he would accomplish very little. Amusingly he has the grace to appear both astonished and a little embarrased at the size of the fees he receives.
Three of Dan’s Platinum Group (Tom Breeze, Alun Richards & Daniel Wagner) went head to head to win a years useage of Dan’s Aston Martin. They just had to convince the audience that they had benefitted most by Platinum Group Membership. I think it fair to say that they all demonstrated an inspiring ability to make money in exciting ways and I enjoyed all their presentations. The best for technical content was probably Alun Richards who is a master of using social networks and from whom I learned the most but the most inspiring presentation came from Daniel Wagner who is a consumate performer. When the results were announced the next day the winner was deservedly, Daniel Wagner.
Following the Platinum Group members James Lavers spoke on Persuasion. James is the man who puts the words into the mouths of the presenters of infomercials, he is the man people like Tony Robbins turn to to boost sales. One key learning point we got was that for a customer the marketing should be part of the experience of ownership, and that rather than push for a quick sale it is more effective to build a relationship with the customer. James suggested that the key to effective marketing is to put the customer in touch with future experience now. There was a lot in the presentation, the words I came away with were, “It’s all about the promise!”
The internet genius Chad Conger spoke on Building an Automated System and demonstrated a series of sales models, in fact there was so much valuable content that I need the recordings of the conference just to take it all in. What was inspiring was to see how effectively he had used the techniques himself in a website he set up for a demonstration and which subsequently is providing a source of extra income.
Day 2 was kicked off by Dan Bradbury telling us how to fill seminars and why we should. Seminars are Dan’s business and noone knows better how to put them on and how to make money from them.
Next up was Topher Morrison who several years ago taught me hypnosis at Regents College. He was good then now he is a great presenter. entertaining with great content. A part of his presentation concerned the deliberate use of self fulfilling prophesies but there was too much else to go into here (buy the DVDs).
After a day and a half of hard headed men a different slant was brought by Laura Spicer who presented from a more intuitive place and showed how to use NLP in business particularly for goal setting and accomplishment. (Note to self: check out www.nlpteleclass.com)
Jamie Smart (Salad) continued tne NLP vein with a content packed presentation. For me the key points were to set goals that improve life now (as opposed to toxic goals that one hopes will improve life when they are accomplished) and to measure progress by looking back at how far one has come. In fact his presentation had at least 15 valuable nuggets to be mined and which I do not have time to cover.
The last of Dan’s guest speakers was Lee Sandford the former footballer. Lee’s presentation may not have been polished but it was both entertaining and informative and he used his lack of polish to help drive home much of his message which to a great extent was if he could do it anyone can as long as they get into action. Lee is another one who uses deadlines to counrt procrastination. He was already asuccesful trader in commodities he has used what he learned from Dan’s Platinum Group to leverage his experience of trading and develop a new income stream in helping others become succesful traders too.
Dan Bradbury wound up the conference with more good advice on marketing, nicheing, joint ventures, how to get referrals and testimonials and more. I’m looking forward to reviewing the conference when my DVDs arrive, would I attend another of Dan’s Events? I have already booked! If there’s any places left on his next event you’ll find them via www.danbradbury.com.
