Filed under: asperger's syndrome, autism, disability | Tags: autism, asperger's, asperger's syndrome, disability, AS
Yesterday while my wife was out at meetings, I decided to surprise her by making dinner. I realized that the easiest way of preparing vegetables for mashing would be to chop it small and cook it, then mash it. Unfortunately as I was getting the vegetables together I spotted the mandolin and thought how much it would speed up the process of chopping vegetables. I peeled my veg and started to use the mandolin, because I have history with mandolins I carefully pushed a fork into each piece of veg so that my hands need not come close to the blade. I really don’t know quite what happened, Parsnip can be tough, but my hand slipped, and my thumb was cut.
I used kitchen towel to catch the blood, and went to the bathroom to wash and bandage it. I don’t really do pain, but I do do shock, and it is difficult to put plasters on one hand with the other when both hands are shaking, I managed, but I hope Gil Grissom doesn’t visit my bathroom or I’ll have some explaining to do. Later when the bleeding had stopped and I was changing the dressing for the third time I realized how deep was the cut, about half a centimeter and just a little more in length, not so deep as a well nor so wide as a church door, but ‘twill serve! Well at least it’s debilitating enough to make me grateful that I am ambidextrous, but I was surprised to realize how many tasks I habitually perform with my right hand.
My wife later asked me why I hadn’t just used my “Nicer Dicer”, that would be because I had seen the mandolin and so thought no further. She pointed out to me that mandolins really should not be used by people with dyspraxia, I think she meant me!
Filed under: asperger's syndrome, autism, success | Tags: Burnsall, Miners Strike, Richard Dimbleby, Skopje Earthquake, Skopje Relief Fund
In the summer before my tenth birthday and before I first went to boarding school, there was a terrible earthquake in Skopje, the broadcaster Richard Dimbleby appealed for funds to help the survivors of the disaster. There and then I got out a folding picnic table and set it up outside our house in Burnsall, I raided my mother’s pantry and set up a stall to raise money for Skopje. I think it must have been a Sunday because my mother came back from the Red Lion – the pub next door – and caught me. Rather than give me into trouble she said that if I wanted to raise money for Skopje I could have a sale but I had to do it properly. She took me to various of her friends to ask for items I could sell and I put up posters.
The next Saturday I set up my stall on the riverbank and sold the items I had gathered, there were – I remember – tins of food, books and brick-a-brack. I had to explain to people why I was raising money, first when asking for donations and then when selling them. I have rarely been as passionate about anything – the liberation of East Pakistan and the Miners’ strike against Thatcher are among the few other things that have inspired me similarly – as I was then, on reflection I realise that passion is the one thing that overrides my reluctance to speak to people.
I raised over Twenty pounds – I can’t remember how much – and sent it with a covering letter to Richard Dimbleby. A short time later I received a letter from Richard Dimbleby, my mother said it was obviously written by a secretary and its tone was condescending, but I didn’t care I was proud then of what I’d done. I am proud now of what I did then, and amazed. I am so grateful that my mother recognised how important the cause was to me, and rather than dampen my enthusiasm encouraged me to push through my barriers and accomplish something of which I could be proud. Looking back I realise that the amount I raised was very small, but the accomplishment – for me – was enormous. I very much doubt that Richard Dimbleby was ever aware of my contribution among so many, but he signed the letter that was sent to me in thanks and it made me feel so proud. The letter disappeared at some point among our many house moves, but even today its memory makes me feel good.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: books, english, english language, language, literature, magazines, personal development, personal growth, reading, relaxation, self empowerment
A few days ago I was watching my two year-old granddaughter emptying books from a box ,and having spread them across the floor, sitting and turning pages. She cannot read, but she loves turning the pages, she loves looking at the pictures, and she loves being read to. She uses, “Story?” as a greeting.
My elder granddaughter could read before she went to school, both her parents and my wife and I, made a point when reading to her of pointing to the words as we read them. She learned quickly and loves to read, although she does not always understand what she is reading she has an insatiable curiosity. Her mother also read from an early age.
My daughter too always loved books. I think because both my wife and I read a lot it never occurred to her to do otherwise. She used to get annoyed when rather than answer her questions I would hand her a relevant book and tell her to look up the answer for herself, that’s how I learned and it’s a better way than being given the answer without any work. Like my grandchildren my daughter always had books, more or less from birth, beginning with board and cloth books.
I learned to read before school. My mother read to me, but I also had Harold Hare comics. I loved comics and eventually progressed from Harold Hare to the Eagle – home of Dan Dare. As the grandfather in The Princess Bride says, “When I was young TV was called books.” We used to have very little children’s television, at lunch time we had “Watch With Mother” and from 17.00 to 18.00 we had “Children’s Hour” and on Sunday afternoons there would be a film suitable for all the family. We had a lot of time in which to read or play. Play did not mean video games it meant toys, or other physical activities. If it were dry we played outside, if wet inside. Without videos, all-day television, PCs and games consoles the alternative to toys was reading books. I say reading books because then we did not have the variety of magazines and comics we have today and there were very few imports from the USA.
I don’t think that a love of reading is genetically inherited, but the habit of reading does seem to be passed on from one generation to the next and it is a wonderful gift that allows us to carry the universe in our pockets and to never need to be bored. My Granddaughters love books and I am glad!
Filed under: asperger's syndrome, autism, disability, Film Reviews | Tags: AS, asd, asperger's, asperger's syndrome, autism, information processing, sensory processing, Temple Grandin
Recently I wrote about my first watching of HBO’s Temple Grandin starring Clare Danes, yesterday I watched it again, but this time with the audio commentary of director, writer, and of Temple Grandin herself. I think everyone should do this as it is different from, but a complimentary process to just watching the film.
It was interesting to hear Miss Grandin’s observations of how accurate some parts of the film were while being at pains to point out where the film makers had made changes – particularly in chronology – to meet the exigencies of film making. It was good to hear Miss Grandin’s endorsement of many of the scenes for their accurate depiction of the manner in which her mind works as well as for the accuracy of the events depicted as evidenced by the filmmakers use of Temple Grandin’s actual drawings and photographs. I was quite moved listening to her comments on her upbringing; I too am a child of the 1950s and was educated in boarding school, so her comments on being drilled in proper manners’ and the difference it made, resonated with my own experience. I personally believe that the one thing that would make the biggest difference to our society would be a restoration of formal good manners. Obviously as an autistic person I find it easier to have clear rules of behaviour, but my observations lead me to believe that NT people – with some exceptions – too are actually happier when treated with courtesy and would appreciate a return to politeness.
I think the thing I enjoyed most was Temple Grandin’s enthusiasm, she was obviously excited not only by the process of film making, but by what she saw on the screen particularly when her actual drawings or photos appeared on screen. I remarked to my wife later, that it occurred to me that autistic people never really grow up, we learn things, we learn how to adapt and behave – some – but we never actually stop being children; my revelation came as no surprise to her. I think that’s the thing I take away from the film, that even with all her experience, her knowledge and intelligence Temple Grandin is still blessed with the curiosity and underlying innocence of a child.
I was having a light meal at my daughter’s flat when she asked my granddaughter, “Are you a child or an adult?”
My granddaughter answered, “Child.”
My daughter, “Am I an Adult or a child?”
My granddaughter, “Adult.”
My daughter, “In Nanni (my wife) an Adult or a child?”
My granddaughter, “Adult.”
My daughter then asked, “What about Nannaji (me)?”
My granddaughter answered, without hesitation, “Child.” Perhaps it explains why my granddaughters seem happy to spend time with me. So many people today operate in a state of world-weary cynicism and materialism, I think they lack joy. Personally I am happier to remain a child!
Filed under: asperger's syndrome, autism, disability | Tags: AS, asd, Asperger diagnosis, asperger's, asperger's syndrome, autism, blogs, depression, disability, emotions, english language, information processing, self empowerment, sensory processing, Thinking Person's Guide to Autism
I sat and read this book over a couple of days and I loved it. The introduction begins, “This is the book we wish we’d been given when autism first became part of our lives…” the editors have put a lot of time and personal effort into sharing the lessons they have had to learn the hard way. Having said that, I’m not suggesting this book will make the experience of bringing up a child with autism easy, but I believe it will make it easier. What do I know about bringing up an autistic child? I have autism, so I actually understand very little of how it feels for a neurotypical person to have an autistic child. There is obviously a difference between looking out of autistic eyes and looking into the eyes of someone with autism, I think things look better from my side of the lens.
This book is aimed primarily at the parents – most often the mothers – of children with autism and is designed to help them throughout the experience of diagnosis and child rearing, but it also contains a lot of good stuff for people with autism and anyone connected with autism. I was fascinated reading the first hand accounts of parents with autistic children, I tend not to be very aware of other people’s feelings so this book is quite an eye opener, I suspect it will help parents of autistic children to know that they are not alone in their feelings and experiences. What will help them more is the practical advice, the lessons learned by others who generously share them here, yes you will have to undergo similar experiences, IEPs etc., but you don’t have to stumble around blindly because others who have gone before you are giving you a guidebook here.
The book is arranged in chapters each containing several fairly short essays, and is well indexed at the rear which makes it easy to locate information. The format makes the information easy to digest because it is in manageable chunks. It also means that any spare five minutes can provide valuable learning, as far as I can gather information that can be garnered in increments of a few minutes at odd times may well suit many autism parents. I think it is also useful that this is a book that can be read in any order, selecting whatever is wanted at the time, I am going to leave it in my sitting room so it can be dipped into in spare moments.
This is not a book “about” autism by “experts” this is a book by people who are actively involved in autism either as parents, family members, or people on the Spectrum. There are a few articles by autism professionals, but they are professionals for whom autism represents more than just a job, and the articles fit in well with the overall ethos of the book – useful information in manageable chunks. The people contributing are sharing of themselves, they share the mistakes they made, and the valuable lessons they have learned. The autistic contributors share something of the experience of being autistic, this in itself should provide a degree of hope for many parents, and help them to understand that the world we live in may not be as terrible as they suppose – it’s not all great, but it’s not all bad either and sometimes it’s pretty good! There is much that is positive in the experiences of the parents in the book and there is a lot of joy besides the heartaches and anxieties, as well as tears there is laughter.
The book contains a list of resources, remember these resources are things that the editors – parents of children with autism – have found of value. You are not being sold anything just provided with tools that have worked for some, are working for some and many of which will cost you nothing. The resources and therapies referenced in the articles may cost – time and money – but this book will help you make the decisions you must and guide you towards the practical and financial support you need, you don’t have to walk this path alone.
This is a book of HOPE. The underlying message is that however tough things may be, however difficult they may get, don’t give up. Things can – and generally, but not always – will get better and there are resources available and people willing to help you give your child the best possible life. I believe this book may be the turning point in the lives of many parents of autistic children, but what do I know? I am an autistic adult and I contributed.
Filed under: asperger's syndrome, autism, disability | Tags: AS, asd, asperger's, asperger's syndrome, autism, information processing, sensory processing
Early this morning I posted an unedited article, now I’ve had a chance to sleep and reflect on it. I posted,”I am offended and upset, I just read an article “All His base Are Belong To Him” by Susan Senator. The title doesn’t make sense! I could live with “all his base belongs to him” but not this! I read the article, a good article, but it didn’t explain the title, the title is wrong and it hurts. I feel physiacally nauseous, I am trembling and my finger is full of tooth marks. I don’t like Susan Seanator, it’s not logical, not her fault, but I cant get my head round this and it hurt, my tics are on overdrive, i am actually dizzy and my fingers are all over the place! I should perhaps wait and review this before posting, but this time i thouhght I’d post it raw. Sorry if it offends.”
Thank you to those people who explained the reference, especially Nettie who is always there when I need support, big thanks all. I have to admit the last game I completed was Quake, I find games use up too much time. Like you Nettie I couldn’t watch much of the video, but thanks for sharing it!
Normally I wait before posting my blog in order to allow time to reflect, but I thought this time posting it “raw” would allow readers an idea of how I actually felt rather than just seeing my thoughts about how I felt. The worst thing was the actual physical pain a sentence could give me, I don’t know if it’s some sort of synaesthesia, but it has elements of the fingernails on chalkboard sensation. The other thing that disturbed me was how easily I could dislike someone I have never met, who was doing her best to be helpful, just because of my personal distress. I have considered removing the offending page from my book, or erasing the title with liquid paper because even after the explanation I still find it upsetting. I appreciate this is not logical, but it is more like a reaction to being stabbed than it is a response to a comment; I suspect it may well be a synaesthesia. Finally I must say sorry to Susan Senator who inadvertently upset me; I really must go back to having a cooling off period before I edit and post!
Filed under: asperger's syndrome, autism | Tags: asd, Asperger diagnosis, asperger's, asperger's syndrome, autism, Clare Danes. Thinking Person's Guide to Autism, information processing, Kev Leitch, Left Brain Right brain, sensory processing, Temple Grandin
I went to bed far too late yesterday, I blame my wife. Among the bundle of books she ordered from Amazon was the DVD of HBO’s Temple Grandin starring Clare Danes. I thought I’d just watch the first hour of the film and put my light out at 10:00, aye right! In the end I watched the whole film and put my light out at 11:00 and was hardly aware of the passage of time. I was utterly enthralled and frequently moved to tears, I loved this film! I had to go to work having not had enough sleep, but I don’t mind, I’m happy and grateful to have a job the majority of Aspies don’t.
One of the benefits of reading people’s experiences of autism is to enable one to better recognise one’s own experiences, but watching a film has so much more power, not only to bring an intellectual recognition, but also a visceral re-experiencing of events. In most ways Temple Grandin’s life has been different to mine, but many of her experiences – as portrayed in the film – were very similar (the depiction of sensory overload I found very powerful and I loved some of the examples of literalism). They say, “when you’ve met one person with autism, you’ve met one person with autism” however there is enough common experience to make a film like Temple Grandin a valuable tool for increasing awareness. #
It’s no wonder Temple Grandin is such a hero to the autism community, she overcame serious autism to carve a successful career and became a champion and role model for, and figure head of the autism community. The DVD packaging describes her as giving autism a voice, and I think she has. She is one of those people who have made it possible for autistic people to advocate for themselves, to be accepted as having opinions as valid as “normal” people’s. I was struck by a comment made by Kev Leitch (LBRB) in the book Thinking Person’s Guide to Autism, “I had become a firm proponent of the idea that autistic people had rights and that one of those rights was their right to be autistic”, The film shows that it is possible – in some cases – with commitment and understanding to live and thrive with autism and those who do have a message of hope for parents of children with autism. InTemple Grandin’s case autism brought with it particular gifts, this may not be true of all of us, but by understanding and meeting the needs of the individual with autism it is possible in many cases for the autistic to have rich and rewarding lives. There is a wonderful scene at the end of the film where Temple Grandin and her mother attend an autism conference, after a few minutes of listening to an ‘expert’ pontificating about stimming Temple Grandin stands up and contradicts him from her experience; perhaps the scene of parents actually wanting to hear what an autistic person has to say may not hold true for some of us, but it is an inspiring scene and a model of how the autism community should be working together.
Filed under: asperger's syndrome, autism | Tags: AHR, alt.healing.reiki, AS, asd, asperger's, asperger's syndrome, autism, bereavement, death, emotions, funerals, information processing, sensory processing
My wife has been looking back at the bereavements in her life and I have been observing her; it occurs to me that my attitude to bereavement is not only different from hers, but perhaps from humans in general.
Several years ago on AHR (Alt Healing Reiki newsgroup) in response to someone reporting a death, I remarked, “People die”, for me a straight forward statement of inevitability, I could not understand then, and do not understand now why people make such a big deal over death. Unfortunately my response led to me being abused by a number of people who, while accusing me of insensitivity, felt it perfectly acceptable to flame me on the newsgroup.
I cried once when my mother was dying, but not because she was dying; I cried because I was unable to impact the process of death whether by prayer, healing or Reiki and I disliked the sensation of powerlessness. I think the only person who has died that I really miss is my Father-in-law, I am not in any way sad, but I enjoyed his company. When I was much younger I wept when my friend Sadie died, she was several years older than me and had always been kind to me when many weren’t, and I was sad when my whippet cross bitch Curly died.
My one objection to death is that it does tend to cause an interruption to one’s life, worse an interruption during which one is surrounded by people being emotional, that is much more upsetting to me than someone’s death. I definitely dislike it when a death compels major change in my routines, as my Father-in-law’s did. I like a degree of predictable routine and order and bereavement is disruptive, but I do quite enjoy meeting family members whom otherwise I would not see and death provides a reasonably sedate context which discourages excess noise and ebullience. I certainly prefer funerals to weddings, you get to see people without having to put up with loud music and dancing and the food is often just as good.
Generally for me death is a matter of “out of sight, out of mind”. I tend not to think of people when I am not regularly encountering them, whether living or dead. Frequently I have thought I should phone or write to someone only for months, even years to pass, before any action is taken. My problem is that I have little sense of the passage of time, my wife says I have the biggest “Now” of anyone she knows, this tends to mean that I either act immediately or I don’t act, I lack a sense of urgency. Because only the immediate really impacts me the past, the future and the geographically distant make little impression upon me and anyone not immediately present tends to escape my consideration.
I think another reason death has little impact upon me is that it is illogical to be upset by death. Everyone – even Markandeya – must eventually die; if there is a life after death then death is merely a step on a journey, if there is oblivion after death then there is little point in worrying as it will make no difference. Someone who is absent through death is – to me – no different from one who is disconnected from me by geography, they are absent and that’s that. I may or may not meet some again, but it is of no great concern to me. Life happens and there is little point in getting emotional about it, people come and go, they always will, it is enough to get on with what we must and not waste time in fruitless brooding over things that can never be, or longing for things that can never be again.
