Filed under: asperger's syndrome, autism, disability | Tags: AS, asd, asperger's, asperger's syndrome, autism, emotions, nlp, personal development, personal growth, self empowerment
Do people with Asperger’s think more than humans, it feels like it? Whereas some moo seem to be able to get through life with a minimum of constructive thought, we are condemned to analyse and assess everything, we even analyse our analyses. We are locked in a never ending quest to make sense of your world and its inhabitants.
Of course, if it is true that, with our thoughts we create the world we perceive, then perhaps our problem is merely that we over think. Perhaps we are looking for a meaning that is not there, perhaps your lives are meaningless. We look for purpose in your lives, perhaps there is none; what if your ultimate purpose is to live until you die having spawned your next generation? Would that be so bad? An examination of virtually any species shows that their purpose is generally to reproduce, are humans really any different?
One wonders why people need to find meaning, higher purpose for their lives. Is it not enough just to live and enjoy? Humans have, it seems, an unlimited capacity for enjoyment and so many ways to satisfy their senses, food, music, art, theatre, cinema, sport. There seems to be a certain reality to emotions, perhaps they are no more than chemical reactions, but people certainly feel them. What someone can feel they can enjoy, and that is certainly true of emotions, as any grandparent, watching their granddaughter discovering butterflies, can affirm. With so much to see, and do, and feel and, above all, to enjoy do you really need a higher purpose, is this not enough?
And of my own search for meaning? Perhaps that is my purpose, to search for meaning. The search is the purpose, for if one should ever find the meaning of life then their would be no more purpose, the game would be over.
Filed under: asperger's syndrome, autism, disability, success, Writing | Tags: AS, asperger's, asperger's syndrome, Giggleswick School, information processing, language, literature, memory, personal development, personal growth, self empowerment
As a former pupil of Giggleswick School I am sent Gig: News, the magazine that keeps us in touch with the school. As well as news, it always contains plenty of reminiscence, which stirs my own memories of a childhood which grows happier the further I am removed from it. The latest edition contained a report of the quincentenary OG Day chapel service, which reminded me of having to learn the hymns for the end of term service which, in tribute to the former pupils who served in two World Wars, took place in blackout conditions. I was amused and pleased when the words of “Oh God Our Help in Ages Past” sprang without effort to my mind after forty years. I, personally, loved the end of term service and always found it moving and magical, learning the hymns was a small price to pay. Of course, back then learning by rote was common, I still have fragments of poems learned nearly half a century ago immovably fixed in my memory.
I have cause to be grateful for the religious life of Giggleswick. When, freed from the discipline of Gig, my university career fell apart I sank into one of my periodic, debilitating, depressions. For a period the only thing that held me together were remembered pieces of the “Book of Common Prayers and from “Hymns: Ancient and Modern”, they were all that kept me from surrendering to utter despair. However it was not the beliefs behind the words that sustained me, but rather, the beauty and familiarity of the words themselves; were it not for the ten years of repetition in the school chapel that fixed the words in my mind, I doubt I would be alive today.
Today we tend not to learn pieces of writing by heart as we used, but I am inclined to the opinion that it was useful discipline that extended beyond the chapel or the classroom. I suppose it may be argued that rather than fill our heads with information, we can substitute Google for memory. To some extent it’s a valid point that we don’t need information as long as we know how to access it, it is better to know “how” rather than “what”. Just as we learn how to perform mathematical calculations rather than memorise the answers to all possible sums, it is better to learn systems rather than facts. However there may come a time when one is cut off from the internet or the library, and the only place to which one can turn for answers is one’s own mind; that is when one will be glad to have more on which to draw than systems. There is a value in remembered stories, poems, songs, and dramatic scripts, the building bricks of our culture. The memory is a tool which if not used becomes rusty and when needed may fail. Remembering should be practised and the use of memory taught to our children.
Filed under: success | Tags: emotions, est, information processing, Landmark Education, language, neurolinguistic programming, nlp, personal development, personal growth, self empowerment, Werner Erhard
When I say, “I am going to be powerful” I am declaring that I am NOT powerful.
When I say, “I am someone” I dissociate from myself, I put me at arms length.
When I say, “there are doubts” or “doubts occur” I am declaring that I am not in control of my feelings, I am abdicating my responsibility.
When I say, “I doubt” I am responsible. I am doing the doubting, it is not something happening to me. I choose to doubt and I can choose not to, I am in control.
When I drop the “someone” and instead say simply, “I am” I put myself at the heart of the action, I am where everything happens.
When, instead of, “I am going to be…” I say, “I AM fun, I AM joyful, I AM powerful!” I am declaring this is who I AM. This is who I am BEING regardless of how I feel. This is not who I hope to be this is who I am and the world will adjust itself accordingly, because I say so and, as I learned from Werner, “My word is law in the Universe!”*
* “If you keep saying it the way it really is, eventually your word is law in the universe.” (Werner Erhard)
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: AS, asd, asperger's syndrome, depression, emotions, est, information processing, self empowerment, spiritual development, spirituality
Today I awoke tired and sore, all my muscles ached, my throat was burning; in short i was displaying all the symptoms I have learned to associate with the onset of, what I call, a CFIDS, event. Yesterday I did not behave entirely sensibly. I came off a night shift and just took a couple of hours nap before heading off to Edinburgh for the afternoon and evening. I had committed to a seminar in the evening, but the afternoon was optional. Neelam had a meeting in the morning so I thought it would be fun to spend the afternoon in Edinburgh, logically not the most sensible of choices, but I was right it was fun. We went to Patisserie Valerie where the food is good, but the cakes and pastries are magnificent. Edinburgh is always a nice place to visit, even if all one does is walk around and look. We walked and we looked, we visited the Peace and Justice Centre.
While we are on the subject there is a weekend of Scrap Trident action in Glasgow this weekend beginning on Saturday with a demonstration in George Square at 10:15 all details from http://www.scraptrident.org
In the evening, increasingly tired we went to my seminar. I was too tired to do it justice. Had I had a proper sleep things might have been very different, but I chose a day out. The point is, as I realised on reflection today, I chose; no one else chose for me, what I got, I chose. The strange thing is, the moment I realised, I chose to feel better and I felt better. Ok, I still felt tired, but I didn’t let it spoil my day, I chose to rest as I needed, I chose to have a bath and, above all, I choose to feel good. It is not wrong to feel tired, or to have a headache, it may be inconvenient, but it is not wrong, at worst it is merely what’s so and that may not have to be true. Look around, wherever there is cause for pain and sorrow and suffering, some suffer, but some do not. Wherever there is cause for joy and celebration, there are always some who, nonetheless, suffer. What matters is not the circumstances in which we live, but how we live in our circumstances. Although I may have got little out of the seminar last night, I was reminded of my est training and that I, and I alone, am responsible for my experience and I alone can transform it. The strangest part of this is that one’s circumstances seem to mirror one’s experiences. If I am happy I can quickly find reasons for my happiness; in truth it is not our circumstances that cause our experience, but, rather, the experiences we choose that give us the world in which we live. We will always be able to find reasons for how we feel, but how we feel will determine the reasons we find and so, if we choose to rejoice in and enjoy our world we will find plenty of cause for joy. Rejoice!
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: creation, god, hinduism, Karma, One, personal development, personal growth, reincarnation, self empowerment, Shiva, Siva, spiritual development, spirituality
In the beginning there was only the One, nameless and formless – some call it Siva –, no time, no space, content in itself. The One stirred and became two and multiplied and diversified spreading out through what had now become space and time, although as yet there was no one to recognise it as such. Everything that came into being was formed of the One and was informed by a fragment of the consciousness of the One, all creation is contained within the One. The One who remains at the same time – tricky bit coming up – whole and undivided; the One is whole and undivided and content within itself, while at the same time each individual consciousness is not entirely aware of its oneness and experiences separation and a longing to return to wholeness. It may be noted in passing that none of this is inconsistent with Science, although it may not be empirically provenn, it does not contradict science, were it to do so it would obviously be wrong, in my opinion.
Into every new life there enters an individual consciousness, a fragment of the One. When an individual fully realises its oneness it ceases to exist as an individual, but every one that has not accomplished oneness must continue until it does. Thus there comes a point in the expansion of creation where each thing created is not populated by a new fragment but by one that is continuing its – often unrecognised – quest for wholeness. I am personally of the opinion that, when the number of available fragments of the One for incarnation, is equal to the number of bodies available for occupation, the expansion of the Universe ceases and, as individual fragments return to wholeness, begins to contract.
Karma is the law that determines one’s birth. The purpose of each of us is to return to wholeness, but it is not enough to comprehend intellectually that we are one, it is essential to understand it experientially. Many of us undergo experiences that cause us to become separate from each other, further removed from wholeness; after each death we are given the birth that will put us into a place where we can best move on from our previous fragmenting experiences. You may be wondering how this is determined. There are those on the path back to the One who have chosen to remain, temporarily, as individuals while being aware of their oneness. Because wholeness comes from the return of all the fragments to the whole, these enlightened ones assist others to progress along the way. Aha, you may ask, “But what about those individuals who choose to return to the one and don’t remain to help others, how can they be whole while some remain individuals?” The One is always whole and complete while retaining within itself all of creation, it observes creation while remaining aware of its wholeness, creation exists only in its observation, this is why creation is described as the god opening his eyes and dissolution when he closes them.
One’s birth does not determine what will happen during one’s life, but it does put one in a context where some things may happen, for example , it is impossible to climb out of poverty without first being in poverty. Karma is entirely non-judgemental, there is no punishment for sins, but hurting others will inevitably present one with lessons to be learned, it is only possible to injure others when one is unaware that they are actually aspects of oneself; the one who hurts others will return to learn a lesson, but that does not necessarily mean they will in turn be hurt, they may as well be born into a family which teaches them respect or better still one that understands how this all works. Sadly there are those who misunderstand Karma and introduce the idea of punishment into the mix. The fact is that life presents one with challenges and lessons, the good as much as the bad and the only tool we have for successfully learning our lessons is our capacity for awareness. It may seem unjust that a cruel tyrant may become aware of his actions within the scheme of things whereas a kind gentle saint may not – the converse is probably more likely – but enlightenment comes from understanding and the lessons with which we are presented give us each the opportunity to understand.
Ultimately as the fragments – you may want to call them souls – return to the One there is less of the material into which they may incarnate until ultimately there is so little that the truth of Oneness becomes inescapable, even to the most recalcitrant. This is the point at which all is reabsorbed into Siva. his contemplation continues until such time as he gives birth to another universe. This is Karma and reincarnation reduced to its bare essentials, volumes have been written on the subject, but essentially this is the whole of it. Actually navigating one’s way back to wholeness generally requires rather more, but the information, all the information, you need is available…The Truth is out there. (I just couldn’t resist!)