Springingtiger's Blog

Valentine’s Day

Ok I have to admit I missed the point! A few years ago some work-mates asked me what I had bought my wife for Valentines Day, they were horrified when I replied, “Why would I buy her something for Valentine’s Day, I’m married to her?” I had always believed that Valentines was part of the human courtship process and it never occurred to me that it was in any way relevant to married people.

I have to admit I’m still not clear why it’s relevant, in all honesty the whole point of Valentines Day escapes me. In what way does sending someone a card or flowers or taking them to dinner on Valentines Day indicate that one loves them, particularly when one does these things on other days as well – ok, perhaps not in my case – why should this one day be any different? I can understand bringing cut flowers into the house when cutting them promotes continuous flowering as with Sweet Peas, but I am not sure why flowers are romantic. To be honest I am not entirely sure why it is necessary to listen to conversation which doesn’t interest me should be a necessary part of marriage, but that’s just me I tend not to appreciate the importance of anything I don’t want to do.

I have major difficulties understanding why some things are romantic; a sunset – however aesthetically satisfying – is still a sunset regardless of with whom one may be viewing it, a rose is just a flower, a log fire is an attractive, but not particularly efficient way to heat a room and Mr Darcy and Colonel Brandon are just two decent chaps who enjoy financial stability. I fail to see why a red coat, gold braid and riding britches are romantic whereas camouflage fatigues are not.

I am fortunate that my wife views my attempts to understand romance with amusement and greets my confusion with laughter. She seems to find particularly amusing the occasions when she accuses me of having behaved romantically but cannot explain to me why my conduct is romantic. If she needed me to make romantic gestures I’d be in deep trouble, apparently to give flowers or chocolates is not romantic per se., but I am at a loss to understand why sometimes it is and others not. I am sure there must be a logic to romance, but my wife assures me that I will never understand it if I approach it logically.

Anyway that’s another Valentines Day passed and I don’t feel any nearer to understanding the point of it than I was half a century ago, it really is quite frustrating.


5 Comments so far
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Lol says wife.

Comment by Neelam

Whew, at least you’re smiling! 🙂

Comment by springingtiger

It’s a little late, but I had to say that not everyone in the world thinks that Valentine’s Day is really about romance. My husband and I feel that it’s a conspiracy started by greeting card companies. : )

I hope this doesn’t come off as offensive to anybody, but maybe it would help to think of romance as some kind of elaborate mating ritual? That kind of thinking works for my son (OK, he’s only 7, so not about romance, but for any social acts that seem illogical)…when we look at animals they have this whole complicated means of relating. It helps him to “study” human behavior in the same way as we can study animal behavior.

…and it must have something to do with culture too. Here in the US I don’t think many women would consider riding clothes to be more romantic than combat fatigues.

Comment by nobodyelsethoughtofthis

Valentine’s Day = Hallmark. So does Sweetest Day. Why they needed two romantic holidays I’ll never understand, but maybe that’s just because I’m extremely single.

Anyway, I can understand how those things are difficult to comprehend. I don’t understand them either, but then, I’ve never been in love. Do you think there’s a logic to attraction as well?

Comment by polaviconfessions

I gather that research has been done that shows people are attracted to people who remind them of themselves or of one of their parents which is why many people’s partners actually resemble one of the above.

Comment by springingtiger

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