Springingtiger's Blog

Lucky in Love
March 12, 2013, 08:26
Filed under: asperger's syndrome, autism, Scotland, social media, success, Travel

“I love you so much”, I said.
“I know”, replied my wife, Neelam.
“I like to say that to you every day.”, I said.
“You do,” she said, Why?”
“Just in case.”, said I.
“In case of what?”
“In case there comes a day when I can no longer say it, I’d want to have said it the day before.” I replied.
“That day will come”,she said, “but I am very lucky.”
“Why lucky?”
“I am lucky I have been loved, I feel loved”

I didn’t buy her a Valentine’s day card, I rarely do, I don’t need to because she feels loved. I like that she feels loved, I’m not sure how one has another feel loved, but I feel loved too, and I really like that! Including our courtship, Neelam and I have been together now for about thirty seven years. I think we are happy. I like her to be happy because when she is happy, I am happy.

Sometimes we meet and go out for a coffee or a meal, it’s a bit like a date. Yes we do live together, but when she is in town on business, it’s fun to meet up. On occasion we go to the cinema and hold hands. We don’t sit at the back because I always sit in the second row, it’s where I sit, but we do hold hands. I find the logistics of hand holding somewhat awkward, but she likes it. I usually go to the cinema by myself, when we go together it’s usually to a film I’ve seen and want to share with her, or to a film we both know we want to see. Sometimes I get her to come to a pub quiz, I think that’s romantic, I don’t think she does.

I like it when I finish work early on a weekend morning and she comes and collects me. We usually go shopping which is not my favourite activity, but it’s quite nice to do together even though she takes too long. The strangest times are when we just have to pop in to a shop for milk and bread – for example – because when I go for milk and bread that’s what I buy plus, perhaps, a magazine or a bag of sweets whereas she will need a trolley. The envelope I carry with my emergency tenner has written on it, “Taxi money – not for magazines, or sweeties!”. Neelam says shopping with me is like shopping with a child, as I want to buy magazines, sweets, perhaps a DVD, biscuits, cereal, bread, vegetarian sausage rolls and baked beans; Neelam buys things like fruit and vegetables and other sensible things. I tell her that I don’t shop like a child because I buy beer, but she thinks that’s as bad as buying fizzy drinks.

Neelam sometimes finds interesting LivingSocial or GroupOn deals and then we go for a good meal in a restaurant or we go away for a couple of days. Scotland has lovely country hotels and it is fun to escape to them, just the two of us for a couple of days. Occasionally we may head down south together for a course or for the NLP Conference, although it is a couple of years since we went to it. It is nice that we have interests we share. Last year we went on a week long cruise, we don’t get a proper holiday together every year, but after a grim year we needed one. I think my favourite times are when we are away together, away from everyone and everything we encounter in everyday life, but I also love coming back home together and being able to shut the world out.

I love the way she discovers things to amuse me. Neelam has a gift for finding television programs that it would never occur to me to watch, amazingly there is a whole world beyond the Big Bang Theory and Bones. She finds quirky programs about people and things who otherwise would never intrude upon my consciousness, best of all, perhaps, are the travel programs. She also feeds me a steady diet of newspaper and magazine articles, left to myself I tend just to read computer and gardening magazines. The other day a researcher from IPSOS/MORI came round asking about people’s reading habits, he was amazed at the sheer number and variety of the magazines and papers Neelam reads, but this is what makes her so valuable on the various bodies upon which she sits, she is exceptionally well informed; there may be better informed people in the world, but I have never met them and I doubt whether they are informed across such a breadth of subjects.

It is a standing joke, as some readers will know, that I am not romantic, I do not know how to romance – I know it’s got something to do with flowers and chocolate! Neelam contradicts this, she says that I am sometimes romantic, but that I’m just not aware of it and I don’t understand why what I do is romantic, I’m quite happy with that. As I said I didn’t – as usual – celebrate Valentine’s day, I realise that that’s because every day of our lives together is special, every day is a celebration. Besides who needs romance when you’ve got love?


1 Comment so far
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Hey there! I know this is somewhat off topic but I was wondering
if you knew where I could find a captcha plugin for my comment form?
I’m using the same blog platform as yours and I’m having trouble finding
one? Thanks a lot!

Comment by Marlon

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