Springingtiger's Blog


Thirty years of est (Part Three)
September 13, 2013, 20:51
Filed under: success | Tags: , , , , ,

Neelam did the est training a couple of months earlier in the summer, I went to her guest evening. I registered in the training largely to prove it didn’t work. I knew there was no way I was going to get a couple of weeks leave at short notice during the school holidays, I asked my boss for time off and without hesitation, or even asking why, he said yes. Equally surprising the money fell into place. The only thing I could do was to prepare so I couldn’t be caught unawares. Neelam had bought several of Werner Erhard’s tapes so I listened to them careful so I would be ready for whatever came up in the Training. I also read “Werner Erhard: The Making of a Man”. I was so well prepared not to be affected by est that I “got it” early on the first morning of the second weekend.

My need not to be taken unawares and my preparation was, of course, one of my “rackets” something I did so that I would not look bad. Most of what we do, we do to look good. When we realise that and start to behave badly and dress scruffily, it’s just the flipside of the racket, we want to look good about not looking good. Most of us would rather look good than be happy because we don’t know the difference. We have such a need to be right that we shut down all possibility of aliveness. We are so determined to know about things, about life, that we render ourselves unable to learn; worse, because we filter everything through what we think we know, we are incapable of experiencing anything outside what we know. The est training was designed to, by conversations primarily, ontological investigations, and exercises, free us from our programming and have us be responsible. When our heads are full of what we think we know there is no room for anything else, no room for possibility.

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