Springingtiger's Blog


The Second Day of Christmas

On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me…
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They say that no one ever remembers who came second, except possibly Susan Boyle in Britain’s Got Talent. That may be true of inventors and talent show contestants, but it is not so true of the twelve days of Christmas. The Second Day of Christmas is the day for the other family. If you spent Christmas Day with one set of in-laws, boxing day is often the day to visit the other set. Sadly these days many relationships break down and so many children often find themselves celebrating Christmas with one parent on Christmas Day, and with the other on Boxing Day.

I know Boxing Day has nothing to do with fisticuffs, but it reminds me that there are Two sides to any argument and, usually, to the breakdown of any relationship. It is a gift to be able to appreciate another’s point of view, and it is a gift that may save a relationship, but too often when we are in a situation emotions prevent us from seeing it from any other point of view. Sometimes we need to be able to see things from, what is called in NLP, the second position, but when we can’t it is better to seek a facilitator than to just dig in and fight for one point of view. Parents should take a second to think of their children before they end a marriage, a child does not easily move on from a marriage split and the scars may remain for life. It is particularly hard on children who require high levels of stability and emotional support; a child or young adult with autism may be very confused and upset by their parents’ separation because they do not have the apparatus to process the emotions around them and, frequently, they are given too little information to allow them to process the events either not to cope with the changes in their lives.

The number two in my belief system, and several others, is symbolic of the division of the One into two, Siva and Shakti, male and female. Two is the number of creation, or more particularly of potential creation. One is self sufficient, but two are in a dynamic relationship of constant interaction. Two is Yin and Yang, light and dark the interplay of opposites. It is the number of balance, it is still stable and while it precedes creation it does not necessarily presuppose it. If One is stasis, Two is the promise of activity, it’s all rather exciting.

More mundane, but no less delightful, two is the number of granddaughters we have. Yesterday I should have mentioned my one brother, Jeremy, but today I can say, as the Indians, “Hum do bhai hai” because in English we never say, “we are two brothers”. Perhaps we should, it removes that awful possessive, “I have”. I sometimes think most of our problems in the English speaking nations lies in wanting ownership, and claiming possession, but no one can own another, indeed all possession is transitory and temporary. I do not, I realise, “have two granddaughters”; I am grandfather to two granddaughters and that makes me happy as I watch them grow and live their OWN lives.

Two is a happy number, there are so many twos in our lives; our eyes and ears, hands and feet, a pair of Christmas socks, Doctor Who’s hearts. It is the number of couples, of relationship and the promise of a future of shared love and companionship.

I wish I had finished yesterday by saying,  “today’s blog has been brought to you by the number One and the letter C for Christmas.” that’s what happens when I write spontaneously without redrafts, I forget things or don’t even think of them. However I can now end today’s blog by saying,
“Today’s blog was brought to you by the number Two and the letter H for Hope, and Happiness” Happy Christmas!

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