Springingtiger's Blog


A Recurrent Dream
January 4, 2016, 16:25
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I have a recurrent dream and have had since I was young. Actually it’s not so much a dream as a fragment a disconnected moment of a dream, but it is recurrent. I think it haunts me most frequently as I am passing through that strange state between being awake and properly asleep. At other times it will wake me.

I am in the remains of a city, smashed by war. Which war? Does it matter? War is war they differ only in the details, people still die. I drop behind a broken wall, sitting with my back to it, my rifle to my left its muzzle leaning against the stones. There are at least two others with me, I can never remember their faces. In a moment I will stand and go over the wall to my inevitable death, but for a moment amongst the all the noise and death there is a moment of peace, of calm, a completely blissful moment. As I sit I know the enemy is approaching and then I hear the engine and clatter of a tank, something tells me it is a Tiger, I don’t know how I would know that. Sometimes it ends there, sometimes it ends with my body in mid-air shredded by flying metal, at which point I disassociate from the image and wake up.

I don’t know from where this dream comes. It may well be, perhaps, some moment from an old film seen in childhood that made an impression upon me. I have never – thank God been involved in a war. Wherever it comes from it has haunted me for years. One might suppose that understanding its message might free me from it. I have a million interpretations of the dream all true, all valid and yet it returns, sometimes several times in the same week. Perhaps there is nothing to learn in the dream, no hidden message, it may be merely that I enjoy that moment of stillness and joy before the end. I have had this dream so many times that now I often spend time exploring it as I sit behind the wall. I observe the pile of rubble that is the collapsed wall of the building to my left. I feel the texture of the stones in the wall and the fragments of plaster. I notice the few snowflakes drifting overhead yet I never notice the cold. Perhaps next time I may take control and end it differently, but I suspect not. I think I may be addicted to that small moment of stillness,

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1 Comment so far
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Ask your higher self to assist you to receive new light, some useful understanding. Perhaps the vile quality of war is no grating to your gently soul – and this image links you in feeling to so many who have lost all in wars – and drives your heart to write of these things and call out for peace and freedom. Freedom!

Comment by Robert Frost




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