Springingtiger's Blog

A Recurrent Dream
January 4, 2016, 16:25
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , ,

I have a recurrent dream and have had since I was young. Actually it’s not so much a dream as a fragment a disconnected moment of a dream, but it is recurrent. I think it haunts me most frequently as I am passing through that strange state between being awake and properly asleep. At other times it will wake me.

I am in the remains of a city, smashed by war. Which war? Does it matter? War is war they differ only in the details, people still die. I drop behind a broken wall, sitting with my back to it, my rifle to my left its muzzle leaning against the stones. There are at least two others with me, I can never remember their faces. In a moment I will stand and go over the wall to my inevitable death, but for a moment amongst the all the noise and death there is a moment of peace, of calm, a completely blissful moment. As I sit I know the enemy is approaching and then I hear the engine and clatter of a tank, something tells me it is a Tiger, I don’t know how I would know that. Sometimes it ends there, sometimes it ends with my body in mid-air shredded by flying metal, at which point I disassociate from the image and wake up.

I don’t know from where this dream comes. It may well be, perhaps, some moment from an old film seen in childhood that made an impression upon me. I have never – thank God – been involved in a war. Wherever it comes from it has haunted me for years. One might suppose that understanding its message might free me from it. I have a million interpretations of the dream – all true, all valid – and yet it returns, sometimes several times in the same week. Perhaps there is nothing to learn in the dream, no hidden message, it may be merely that I enjoy that moment of stillness and joy before the end. I have had this dream so many times that now I often spend time exploring it as I sit behind the wall. I observe the pile of rubble that is the collapsed wall of the building to my left. I feel the texture of the stones in the wall and the fragments of plaster. I notice the few snowflakes drifting overhead yet I never notice the cold. Perhaps next time I may take control and end it differently, but I suspect not. I think I may be addicted to that small moment of stillness,


1 Comment so far
Leave a comment

Ask your higher self to assist you to receive new light, some useful understanding. Perhaps the vile quality of war is no grating to your gently soul – and this image links you in feeling to so many who have lost all in wars – and drives your heart to write of these things and call out for peace and freedom. Freedom!

Comment by Robert Frost

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: